1.) I am learning a very particular sort of Spanish. Because I'm dealing with kids, most of the phrases I've learned are something like, "Why are you shouting?" or, "Please let go of my leg," or, "Stop dragging your sister across the floor." Although not the most versatile expressions, they will equip me well when I adopt a few of these little buggers.
2.) I'm pretty sure I ate some deep fried chitlins the other day. The women in the kitchen were enjoying a bowl of these crispy, ambiguous treats and Señora Maria offered some to me. I asked what they were but couldn't understand her explanation. Partly to live up to my own standard of trying new things and partly to defy the women’s expectation that I wouldn't eat them, I threw a few in my mouth and chewed for a long, long time.
3.) Last week, a mother was dealing with her irate 2-3 year old son during lunch. While she tried for a good while to change his mood, she eventually gave up and he remained agitated. He kept hitting her. As a three year old, he wasn't doing any harm, but the situation was still very distressing. Not so much because of the child's anger but by the mother's indifference to it. She never told him to stop, never blocked his hands. She just sat there and took the punches. At one point, when she had her head bowed, her son swung at her and she flinched. She couldn't have been afraid of him or of potential harm. I think she recoiled out of habit. She recoiled because that's what she knows to do, what she’s accustomed to, that’s how other men in her life treat her.
As I stood and watched this scene unfold, different desires tore through me. I wanted to wedge myself between the mother and child, hold his arms at his side, look him squarely in the eyes, and say, "Nunca. Nunca. Nunca." Never. Never. Never. However, I didn't want to appear to be the know-it-all American who tries to impose his values on others, although domestic violence is unacceptable in any culture. So I made eye contact with the boy whenever I could and shook my head. It didn't help. There have been very few times when I have every felt as inept as in that situation.
I loved this post Trevor... especially about the little boy & his mother. Say something to that little boy next time. :) You know he's not happy with his behavior either, it's just all he knows. Puff him up, let him know he's capable of more. We're working with Finlay on that now. He gets angry, hits & screams. We tell him to use his words. I'm not trying to tell him he can't be angry. I'm trying to tell him there's a right response, and it doesn't involve hitting or screaming. We ask him to tell us "Mama, I'm MAD!" and then we talk through why. It's a pretty short, simple conversation at this point, but a valuable one.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine his mother's response if she saw you stand up for her?
Keep on keepin' on...
Good stuff on here, Trevor!